Remember what Chris Rock said, "Drug dealers don't sell drugs. Drugs sell themselves."

And he's right.

There's one point that I cannot stress enough: DON'T SELL TO STRANGERS. If you do, you might make some quick money, but eventually the police will seek you out as an easy bust. If you're careful about who you sell to, the police usually won't take the time to come after you.

So who can you sell to?

Anybody you know you can trust.

But how do you know who you can trust?

Try looking at the situation from the other person's perspective. Does pe care about you enough to never consider narcing you off to the cops, even if pe were in great trouble perself? If you take the time to consider per personality and how long you've known each other and your emotional closeness, and you are convinced pe would never do such a thing to you, then pe's probably as safe a bet as any.

Family members are always good, co-workers, and long-time friends. It's best to know where they live and have a connection to someone they love, but these things aren't necessary if you're truly confident you can trust the person.

And who should you avoid selling to?

People who are addicted to other drugs are usually bad customers, especially crank and meth heads. They tend to care more about that other drug than they do about you or your marijuana. They're also more likely to get arrested and become desperate to get out of their charge.

Other people to avoid are ones who commit a lot of other crimes, especially crimes with actual victims. Make a special point to stay away from thieves who don't seem to have morals about what they steal. Someone who shoplifts from Wal-Mart is not even close to the same threat as someone who would mug an old lady, or rip off one of per friends. I think that many people steal once in a while through their lives, but most have at least some morals about it. So evaluating a person's moral values and moral stamina is crucial in deciding who you can sell to.

A few warning signs for people to steer clear of: if someone tells a story about ripping off another dealer, there's a chance pe'll try to rip you off. If someone talks too much about trust and about how pe trusts you so much and about how pe's such a trustworthy person et-cetera. Listen to what people say. They will drop many hints about their moral viewpoints.

I once worked with a man who lied to his wife about a number of things, and one day we were smoking pot on the back porch at work, talking about the possibility of getting caught by the owner, and he said "There's one thing I've learned through life, if you're ever in trouble, just bullshit. Lie. Bullshitting can get you out of anything."

This statement that he made was a blatant warning sign for me, and I ignored it. Months later he talked me into fronting him an ounce, then fed me lie after lie about why he couldn't pay me. Every day I'd ask and every day he came up with a new story in an attempt to make me feel sorry for him and his financial situation.

My point: stay the hell away from people who think it's okay to tell lies in their daily lives. People who lie about the fact that they smoke pot on a job application, or to get through the Canadian border are usually fine, but if they're willing to lie to their spouse, that's a real warning sign.

So once you figure out who you want as a customer, how do you get per to buy from you?

This is another area where there is a great deal of subtlety.

When people look for dealers, they are looking for someone friendly, respectful, professional, safe, reliable, and convenient. More importantly they're looking for the person who will sell them the fattest sack. You must provide these things.

But don't be a pusher. Once you start hassling people to buy your weed, they lose respect for you and simply become irritated. Also, never blatantly steal another dealer's customers. Healthy competition is fine, and if you sell fatter sacks, it's okay to tell people, but not while the dealer is around. This is the time for subtlety.

Don't plan on making any money for your first few ounces. Plan on smoking or sharing most of your profits. Start with the people you think you can trust that you know smoke pot, then simply pack a bowl or two and smoke them out. In the middle of the bowl, after they've had a few tokes, mention that you bought a whole ounce of this stuff. Then just be open and honest. Tell them about your situation, and that you want to start dealing, but don't really know how. Ask for advice on selling pot. Ask their opinion on the weed they're smoking. Then tell them how much you've decided to weigh your sacks. Basically, just drop hints. It's usually rude to directly ask a person to buy your drugs, especially people you don't know very well.

If your target customers don't seem interested, just be patient. Smoke them out again, increase the weight of your sacks and drop the hints all over again. In most situations, if you can offer a heavier sack or higher quality pot than what they're already buying, even if it's only a fifth of a gram difference, they'll switch over and start buying from you.

Basically, acquiring customers comes from letting all your friends know that you have weed and are available to sell it at reasonable prices, without being too blatant or risky about it.

Street dealing, of course, is a whole other game. You can make a lot of money street dealing, but in my opinion, it's far too risky. I do not recommend street dealing.